Fullmetal Alchemist: Revised and Random
by AyaYukiSohma
Summary: Just some random redo of the story my brother and I are working on. It's weird humor. But I find it funny. You might too. Please Read and Review. I really hope there arn't anymore spell errors. o.O
1. The Prophet of Lior

Disclaimer: We do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Some content may be offending to some people who cannot take jokes. We are Teenagers without a life… Give us a break.

((A/N: We mock in pure love of the show. Some things might be based on other random things we see. The characters are also based off of the originals , of course, but somewhat off ourselves. Be warned. If you get confused. Sam is Ed, **Al**ex, is Al. Cool, ain't it? XD))

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Chapter 1: The Prophet of Lior

Ed and Al, who was a large suit of Armour, were walking through the desert. Al is was singing, much to Ed's horror. "In the desert, no one remembers your name…. Something something… I can't remember the words…."

Ed retorted, with a twitchy eye, "SHUT UP! You are a horrible singer. Simon Crowell would call you 'Bloody Horrible'. Heck, I'M calling you FREAKING HORRIBLE!"

Al smiled, you just can't see it. HA! " Don't worry, I know I can't sing, Big brother… or little sister… no wait… never mind. Besides, nobody lives out here, so no one can hear me."

"I CAN HEAR YOU, DUMBASS!"

"Let me rephrase that, Anybody over five feet tall can hear me."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL YOU COULD STEP ON HIM AND NOT EVEN FEEL ANYTHING ON YOUR FOOT?"

"Hey… is that Lior?" Al asked, somewhat ignoring his brother.

"Yeah, I think so." Ed managed to calm down in two seconds. "Race you!"

"Alright!" Al phones began running, but tripped on… sand? "How in the hell do you tripped on sand!" Al shouted as he got back up. Ed was just standing there holding in his laughter. Al took two more step, but this time he fell right into the sand, only the little spike on his head sticking up.

"HA HA!" Ed pointed and laughed as he ran to Lior, leaving his little brother behind.

"Hey!" Al shouted, "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

_**In Lior town square**_

Ed is now walking slowly, panting like a little puppy dog. Yay. Al pops up behind him, "'Allo, poppit." He says, rather scarily if you ask me.

"AH!" Ed screams and runs into a large fountain of wine. "THE HELL, AL?"

"Teehee."

"How'd you get out of the sand, anyway, Alphonse?"

"Plot device, Mr. Frodo… I mean, Brother, Plot device." Al grinned, again, you can't see it. HAHAHA! Anyway, Al continued, "Let's see where we can get a bit of grub. McLiordals, Liorbucks, And some Chinese place I can't pronounce the name of."

Ed is desperately trying to pronounce the name, and everyone stares at him.Yay.

"Brother, please stop… people are staring." Al sighed

"Maybe it's because You're wearing FREAKING ARMOUR IN THE DESERT!"

"You know I can't help it brother. Besides, you're just jealous because I'm cooler looking."

"…Never mind that. Let's just stop talking and go to Liorhut… no wait, There's a bar over there. And that's Guy ISN'T staring. Wait… never mind…"

"Screw that, I'm going to the bar."

"You can't even drink, Al."

"Sure, just CRUSH MY DREAMS!" Al cries and runs to the bar, "One scotch on the rocks, Bud."

The guy at the bar stares at Al for a moment, then sighs, "Got I.D.?"

"I'm in frickin Armour! And I need I,D.?"

"Yup."

Ed walks up. "One orange soda pop with a hint of lemon, lime and other fun fruits!" Ed grins.

"That's creative…." Al mocked.

"At least I'm not the 14 year old, who's asking for scotch."

"Shut up. And keep it down…. I almost had him."

The bartender dude man blinked, "Sorry… Sir? I can't give you this drink."

"I'll have it." Some random hobo grins.

"'Kay." The bartender grins back. Geeky Cult salute! That reminds me… time for Father Cornello!"

"Time for Who?" Ed raised an eyebrow.

"Yo momma!" Some other random dude shouted.

"How creative…" Ed sighed rolling his eyes.

"Father Cornello is our Cult leader… I mean… A commissioner of God!" The bartender shined.

"Sounds like a load of crap to me." Ed poked the orange plant sticking out of his drink. "What is this?" He pokes it again, this time it moves.

"Who do you think you are, anyway?' The bartender gets all defensive.

"I'm The Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric." Ed grinned, Al stole the scotch back from the Hobo and tried to drink it, only t o have it exit the Armour through the cracks.

"Not here, Al. Couldn't you have waited till we got to a toilet?" Ed growled sarcastically.

"Very funny, brother." Al would have stuck his tongue out. "I'm going to rust!"

"Your own damn fault."

"Back to CORNELLO!" The dude screamed.

"What, are you his lover or something?" Ed stared/

"…I wish…" Bartender whispered under his breath. Al heard it and chuckled, "Anyway, he can perform miracles. It's so darn hot… I mean cool."

Ed raised an eyebrow, "You suck."

"I wouldn't order another drink, Ed…. They might spike it." Al shudders. "So where is this Cornello dude?"

"In the castle of mystical power."

"What the hell…." Ed looks at his brother.

"I think he means the Temple. See?" Al hold out a tourist map. "Hey, we should go check out the theme park later."

"Yeah, how about not, Al?"

"DREAM CRUSHER!"

"Let's go check this castle er… 'Temple' out." Ed sat up, and began walking, Al did the same, but he knocked over the radio, breaking it.

"Whoops." Al laughed nervously, he then ran off fast as he could behind his brother.


	2. The Prophet of Lior Part Two

Disclaimer: You know the drill. Crazy Teenagers…. Don't own anything… BE WARNED.

Sam: Yay to our lovely reviewers. We worship you. Teehee. Juuust for you folks, we're gonna write a second chapter. And it's gonna get real weird from here on in. Crude humor. What would the world be without it? Boring and Holy. Except Holy Socks, those are fun to make sock puppets with.

Ed: Just shut up and get on with it.

Sam: Bite me.

Alex: Wait… aren't you like one of Ed's stalkers/fan girls?

Sam: Pipe down you! XD On with the show!

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Chapter 2: The Prophet of Lior Part Doux. Or Two. Whatever.

Al was running away from the crazy peoples of Lior…. Poor, poor Al. It's not his fault he's so tall and klutzy. Anyway, Al was following Ed, and that darn bartender was chasing after him.

"Come back here, ya punk! You broke my radio!" The loser of a bartender yelped, "Now how am I going to listen to that dreamy, dreamy man?" He gave out a sigh of depression.

"Big brother, that man is scaring me." Al looked over his shoulder at the bartender… who for some reason was carrying a broken glass.

"Pipe down and run." Ed sighed, looking u at the very near temple, "We're almost there. Maybe we can alchemitize something to get rid of him."

"You mean Transmute, Big brother?" Al corrected.

"I mean what I said. Shut up, go away… no one likes you." Ed muttered. Silly Ed, making up words.

They reached the gates of the temple grounds as two Lior cultists grabbed the bartender, "Where are you going so fast? You look suspicious. ALMOST LIKE A STATE ALCHEMIST!"

"What are you talking about, Bernie… we're best friends." The bartender defended.

"I don't think so." Bernie laughed, "Come with me, Edward Elric. Fullmetal Alchemist."

"No, you dumbass, THAT was The Fullmetal Alchemist." He even said to me earlier.

"What do you take me or, an idiot? Like I can't tell that you're Edward Elric." Bernie laughed triumphantly.

Bernie takes the bartender away, Ed and Al are just staring. "Well, that works." Ed shrugged, walking into the temple. They are in a waiting room, with a reception desk and secretary. Some may recognize her as Rose, but who's to say?

"May I help you boys?" Rose looked up from her 'Pile of Paperwork' Which was basically just covering some book she was reading.

"We're looking for Father Cornello." Ed looked at Rose suspiciously.

"I'm sorry, but Father is currently busy at the moment." Rose said, as the intercom buzzed. Rose let out a sigh and press the button thingy that turned the intercom on, "Yes, Sir?"

"Yo, Rose ma homie. Could ya pick me up some Hellsing DVDs? It's getting dull up here. Also could you pick me up some more of the special magazines? You know… Right?"

"Of course, Father. But how is that Miracle of mine coming along?"

"Just lovely, Home dog. Uhm… Freckles will be up and running around within a few days."

"I can't wait to see my beloved hamster again!" Rose's eyes shinned, off in her own little dream world.

"Sure… Remember the magazines." Cornello grinned.

Ed and Al looked at each other, then back at Rose. "He sure does sound busy." Al sarcastically chuckled.

"And what about those 'Special Magazines?" Ed giggled.

"Everything the Father orders and does is Holy. Do not doubt him." Rose answered protectively.

"And I suppose this magazine lying here on the table, with the naked chick is, 'Holy'?" Ed held in his laughter.

Rose remained speechless for several seconds. "He'll see you in a minute."

"Thank you, sucker." Ed grinned.

"LOOK! DDR!" AL bounced up and down as he ran toward the videogame… a little to fast. That klutzy Al and his breaking of things. If you saw an Al head on screen., what do you think the game wants you to do? Totally not hyper right now.

Ed sighs as Al pulls his head out of the screen and moves over to the oddly placed machine next to the now broken one. Ed is reading a magazine. NOT A PORNO Mag. It's… Alchemy Today.

INTERMISSION! (AKA. We're tired and have to go to bed. Nighters.))

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Sam: Be proud of it. Making up of words is my specialty. Now review before I alchemtize you! XD

Al: Does she ever shut up?

Alex: Nope, I don't think so my counterpart. It's amazing her mouth hasn't worn out yet.

Ed: Ah geez.

Sam: I looooooove you Ed.

Al: So do about a billion other fan girls.

Sam: Well then, we'll just have to share him them. And you too, honey bear. XD


End file.
